Looking beyond the flaws...

Here is my usual bedtime ritual:

I brush my teeth, I may or may not floss, I wash my face with cetaphil, and I remove my contacts. I lean forward closer and closer to the mirror (because I'm blind without my contacts) and then, turning my head slowly from one side to the other, I examine my face for any little zit, flaw, red mark, etc. I may pick at a scab on my chin, pluck a few stray hairs from between my eyebrows, and squeeze a white head or two. I turn out the bathroom light, close the door, and head to bed.

Last night, somewhere between clawing at that scab on my chin and and prodding my face with my fingers in search of zits, I paused for a moment. I realized that although I was looking at myself, I wasn't really looking at myself. I was looking my flaws, each and every one of them.

I saw the big red mark on my chin, I saw the annoying scar on my cheek, I saw the peach fuzz, the stray hairs and the crooked teeth. What I wasn't seeing was me. The big picture. Beautiful, lovely, me.

So many times we focus on the flaws. We focus on the zit, the scab, the scar, the extra 5 pounds, the stretch mark, the wrinkle. Likewise, we focus on the one thing during the day that didn't go our way; the flat tire, the menstrual cramps, the broken dish, the stain on the carpet, the gossiping neighbor, the messy kid, the argument, the leaky pipe, the empty bank account, or the bad grade.

I am guilty of turning out that bathroom light without ever seeing the big picture. I pick at all my flaws and I don't bother to step back and really look at myself. I don't bother to see the the dusting of freckles across the bridge of my cute button nose, or the way my eyes crinkle up when I smile. I'm guilty of sometimes ending my day in a bad mood, laying in bed reliving each annoying experience while simultaneously laying right there beside the greatest blessing in my life, Brett. I am guilty of often forgetting that those little flaws in my days, as annoying as frustrating as they can be, can't even compare to the wonderful people and experiences that enrich my life daily.

Tonight, during your bedtime ritual, take some time away from scrutinizing the flaws of your face and the low points of your day.

Don't forget to look at the whole you: wonderful, beautiful, lovely you.

My Best Friend

This Easter, I've been thinking a lot about my best friend.

If you don't know Him yet, you should meet Him. He already knows and loves you. He is your big brother, your advocate, your friend, your companion, and your savior.

His name is Jesus Christ.

Holi Festival of Colors

On Saturday Brett and I went to Holi Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. Holi is a spring festival that is celebrated by the Hindus and Sikhs. During the festival there are bonfires, music, traditional dancing, and then the throwing of colors. This is definitely the most fun I've ever had celebrating the arrival of spring. Even Brett (who isn't a huge fan of getting messy) had an absolute blast. It was amazing to see the juxtaposition between the Indian architecture of the Krishna Temple and the snow capped rocky mountains.

Here's a video of the fun we had this year! You wouldn't believe how many people were there and how colorful everyone gets.

My favorite phenoms' road to a new name

So, here I sit. Haley suggested that I write a post on our blog tonight and I accepted. I was contemplating about writing about what will happen to me in nine hours....some random person will yank four teeth from my mouth while I'm not even unconscious! But then I came to my senses and realized that if I don't even want to write about it, even fewer people will want to read about it.

Perhaps what interests me will interest you. hmmmm.?

I've always been entranced by Shania Twain, Faith Hill, and now....Lady Gaga??? Now, let's get something straight, I love country music and old school rock songs. I am not in love with new age type music. So the fact that for some reason I find Lady Gaga's music rather addicting will remain a secret.

So, here is what interests me. These obviously aren't their real names, so how did they stumble into them?

Shania Twain was born Eilleen Regina Edwards but took her Native American stepfather's last name of Twain at the age of 9. When she was 26 she signed a record deal with Mercury records and changed her name to "Shania." It means "I'm on my way" in Ojibwa, the language of her stepfather.

Faith Hill was born and quickly adopted by the Perry family. She was Audrey Faith Perry. Her first marriage was to a man named Daniel Hill and it lasted six years. She kept the last name but always went by "Faith," her middle name.

Our most recent phenom, Lady Gaga was born Stefani Germanotta but her producer compared her voice to that of Freddy Mercury, the lead singer of Queen. Her producer said she would be as popular as Queen's hit song, "Radio Ga Ga." While texting those words to Stefani it was autocorrected to "Lady Gaga" and it became her moniker.

I've always wanted a stage name. Some alius that I could use for either flying under the radar or promoting myself as the next hit sensation. But alas, I have no such name. (Although I'm open to suggestions)

Wordless Wednesday

Our future babies

On Friday night we had our good friends Matt and Hillary Romney over for a belated St. Patrick's Day dinner.

After we had our fill of root beer and corned beef & cabbage, we decided to wind down in the front room. We got to talking about kids and Mrs. Romney showed us a little game that is supposed to predict how many kids you are going to have along with each child's gender. It is incredibly scientific process and 100% accurate. (Okay I lied about that, it involves a piece of string and a wedding ring.)

She tells me that if it turns in a circle it's a girl, if it moves side to side it's a boy. When the ring goes still, you are done having babies. When Mr. and Mrs. Romney did the test they both had the same number of kids and the same gender! Kinda spookey, but I guess we won't actually know if it was accurate till they have 5 kids. We repeated this test with my Mom and it was 100% accurate (2 boys and a girl). Brett's Mom did the test once at a party and it was right on for their 6 children. It was also right for every other woman in the room.

So I take off my ring and string the piece of yarn through it. Mrs. Romney asks me to hold my left hand straight out with my palm up and my thumb out. Taking the piece of string with the ring in the middle she "dips" the ring three times between my thumb and my pointer finger. Then she holds the string above my palm and we analyze the way it moves.

It moves in a circle which means that child #1 is a GIRL

She stops the ring and makes it still. We go for round two.

She dips the ring "1... 2.... 3..." this time the ring goes side to side. Child #2 is a BOY!

"1...2....3" Child # 3 is a DAUGHTER

"1...2....3" Child #4 is a SON

Onto the next child. "1...2...3..." We watch the ring go side to side then suddenly switch and go to a circle. Hillary gets giddy as she says, "I think that means you'll have twins!"

So pregnancy #5 = TWINS

(Is it totally odd that I got really excited and was smiling like a fool at this point?)

Hillary goes to dip the ring again... "1....2....3..."

She holds it up to my palm and it doesn't move. Looks like we'll stop at 6.

Now it's Brett's turn ... The moment of truth

1...2....3 GIRL
1...2...3 BOY
1...2...3 DAUGHTER
1...2...3 SON
1...2...3 And this time, the ring goes instantly from a circle to side to side. TWINS AGAIN!!!

I was seriously giddy, even though this is a complete wives tale. I was so excited. I was smiling and imagining all of their cute little faces. I was imagining that our oldest daughter would play house with the younger daughter and force one of their brothers to be "daddy". Even though I know this test isn't scientific I was just so happy. Maybe it was just because I felt like I was getting to know my kids even though I don't know them at all yet.

There are times when I wish Brett and I could just get a little sneak peak 10 years into the future so I could see what they all look like, find out who they are, and hug them. I dream about our son ALL the time. But he never tells me his name. Which is a shame because I know in my dream that his name rocks... but when I wake up I never remember it.

Ah well. This blog post isn't to say that I know for sure how many kids I am going to have and in what order, but mostly to say that I just can't wait to meet them. Whether we have all girls or all boys, or five boys and one girl, it doesn't really matter. What will matter is that they will be here and I'll be able to hug them all goodnight.

So hey, you babies in heaven. I love you. Night night, and I'll be hugging each of you soon.

An evening in the life of a married couple

earlier tonight...

Brett and I went to Albertsons (I guess it's called "A Fresh Market" now).
We bought 6 lemons, 3 potatoes, and 2 lbs of 97% lean ground beef.

We watched The Princess and The Frog, ate enchilada casserole, and held hands...

...it was a good day.

i love: eShakti Day Dresses

i love: eShakti Day Dresses

I stumbled onto this website a few months ago after reading about it in a blog post on c jane enjoy it.

eShakti has the most adorable sun dresses for afordable prices and get this... you can customize the dress before you order it. You can change the neckline, sleeve length, and the hemline. There are several options for each dress.

eShakti is a godsend for us gals who never seem to be able to find that perfect dress that isn't sleeveless, doesn't have a plunging neckline, and doesn't require constant adjustments or layers to stay modest. I often get bored of the Shade and DownEast Basics dresses that have the same cookie cutter "mormon" cut. eShakti has so many different styles and designs to fit every girl's personality.

Spring fever has hit and I am craving about 13 of these dresses. Here are a few more of my faves:

The joys of stop-motion music videos...

So can I just tell you how much I LOVE stop-motion films? I seriously just think they are the best. Here are two of my faves.

14 Signs That Things Are Looking Up

1. I got 2 new jobs!
2. I'm now a substitute teacher at Reagan Academy
3. I'm also the new Girl's Head Coach at Mapleton Junior High
4. I just discovered the amazing awesomeness that is Sunflower Farmers Market
5. Brett got an iPod! (Yeah he's one of the cool kids now)
6. SUNLIGHT
7. The grass seems to get slightly greener every day
8. Glee episodes will be back on air in less than an month
9. I can breathe out of my nose which means my cold is finally clearing up
10. Outdoor track and field is on its way!
11. Coupon clipping
12. SPRING
13. My sub position will be permanent soon! I'm taking over an assistant teaching position for a woman going on maternity leave.
14. I'm married to Brett. Things can't get much better than that.

Exciting news but not exactly the kind of news you want to announce...

I quit my job. ***

(*** Technically I turned down a job offer. The company that I worked for went out of business in January. The owner of the company started a new business and invited me on board... but I declined.)

I know this may not seem like exciting news (especially considering the poo dump that is our economy) but I must say this is a very very good thing.

I enjoyed my job and it was a great learning experience for me, but a lot of the reason why I decided to work instead of earn a graduate degree or teaching certificate was because I thought this job had a great opportunity for me to receive benefits and great pay to help get us through Brett's schooling. But alas, 2009 was quite the doosey and neither perk came through. To make matters worse, not only was I not getting a raise or benefits, but soon all employees lost benefits and then shortly after that the business went under. Though the owner of the company kept some of us on for a new endeavor, I found out that with this new company I'd go from being an hourly employee with some security to a contracted employee with little security. That demotion was a bit hard to take considering I was working so much harder than I ever had before and because I had been told to expect a promotion and a raise for over a year.
Besides all the new developments with my job, I have also been struggling with the fact that I work from home and don't have face to face interactions with my clients or coworkers. Moving to Provo and simultaneously finishing school and track was already hard enough. I went from being a busy student and member of an amazing track team who I saw every single day, to working online 40 hours a week and rarely leaving the house. It is very common for me to go days without seeing anyone but Brett. (Not that I don't love spending time with Brett, but everyone needs other friendships and daily social interactions) It's been difficult for me, Miss People Person, to not have those valuable interactions and to be at home all day.

In short, the stress of this job took quite a toll on me and at the end of the day keeping the job wasn't worth the cost of our happiness and sanity. Brett and I made the decision together to not sign with the new company and my boss was very understanding and supportive.

Brett and I have always stressed the importance pursuing a career we love. I want to have a career in something I am passionate about and I know that I am passionate about working with youth and teaching. There is never a better time to get cracking on pursuing that goal than the present right? Now is the best time to pursue what I want to do before Brett and I decide to start a family.

I am currently in the process of applying to the ARL (Alternate Route to Lincensure) Program through the state. Once accepted, I will be able to teach 7th-12th grade English full-time while I earn my teaching certificate.

In the meantime, I am looking for a tutoring, teaching assistant, paraprofessional, after-school, or coaching position. Pretty much anything that involves working with youth. I'd also be open to working as an editor, content writer, or assistant so long as I can work in an office environment and not from home. So if any of you know of anything, please let me know.

It's stressful job hunting, but a good stressful. I am just happy that I am finally on my way to pursuing a rewarding career that I am passionate about. I already feel as if this huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Please be understanding and avoid judgment at this time. Brett and I weighed our options carefully and made this very difficult decision together. We really need all of your love and support right now.

Wordless Wed-nes-day

Is it weird that every time I type the word Wednesday I sound it out in my head Wed-Nes-Day?

Just a thought...

Tim Tebow as "Messiah" - Photoshopped into LDS Image

Can I just tell you how appalled I was when I saw this image in a recent article featured on Yahoo Sports?

(Click Here For Article)

The image featured in the article depicts a photoshopped Tim Tebow in place of the Messiah in a well known Mormon image "The Second Coming" by Harry Anderson. Whether this is intended as a fan image or a jest, the fact that either side would replace the Savior with Tim Tebow is offensive and unsettling. I know Tebow would be disgusted to see this as well. I just have to say it is a shame that our media mocks someone for being religious by also mocking the Savior. Sure, go ahead and make fun of Tebow for being overrated, cocky, and a bit self-righteous. But don't mock Christ and deface this beautiful piece of artwork that members of the church cherish.

It is a shame that being Christ-like or religious makes you an easy target of these kinds of blasphemous jokes. I would expect something like this from some dense fan or critic, but not from Yahoo! Sports.

Feel good song for the day...