An evening in the life of a married couple

earlier tonight...

Brett and I went to Albertsons (I guess it's called "A Fresh Market" now).
We bought 6 lemons, 3 potatoes, and 2 lbs of 97% lean ground beef.

We watched The Princess and The Frog, ate enchilada casserole, and held hands...

...it was a good day.

Everyone said the first year would be the hardest...

Brett and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on December 19th, sorry this took so long to post!

Everyone said the first year would be the hardest.

I hope they're right.

Not because this past year was a struggle, but because it was heaven. If the worst is over, then I'd love to see what is to come.

It's not that everything has been perfect, we've had our fair share of trials, but I find that Brett and I are very well suited for married life.

As the babies of our families (Brett being the youngest in his family to marry) I think some looked at our young marriage as a juvenile dream based on unrealistic ideas about marriage and love. I think some even secretly hoped that the big bad world of marriage would blow up in our faces so that they could say, "I told you so." I can't even begin to count the number of times someone (sometimes a stranger) would ask us how long we'd been married in reaction to our comments on the joys of marriage or our cuddly nature. No matter how long we'd been married the person would say, "Oh just you wait till you hit the ____ month mark. Then you'll see." It always seemed to be the next month, so Brett and I would wait for the 3 month mark, 4 month mark, 8 month mark. It seemed to be a ticking time bomb that still has yet to explode. I'm not saying that I think marriage is easy, every marriage has its struggles, but it is so beyond worth it. Marriage isn't a "ball and chain." Quite the contrary, marriage is the greatest blessing in my life and the funnest adventure.

I was terrified of marriage as a young girl. Sure I was still a hopeless romantic and dreamed of the white dress, who the man would be, and what my kids would look like one day. Like any other little girl, I spun the stem off the top of the apple, counting the letters "A, B, C..." to find out the first letter of the name of the man I would marry. But having grown up in a single home, I had a very tough time thinking about the actual specifics of marriage. The idea of two partners that give and take and work together was something that was a bit foreign to me. My mother raised me on her own, and the only example of a marriage I had was my dad and step-mom who I only saw on occasional trips to Idaho. That was one of the only examples I really had in my life, and sadly a week after Brett and I announced our engagement I received news that that marriage too was ending in a divorce. I guess divorce is what has always made me terrified of marriage. In a way, I think people avoid things that have hurt them.


But I was lucky to have an amazing example in my life, my mother, who always taught me wonderful lessons from mistakes. She always stressed the importance of learning a lesson after we made a mistake and she also taught us lessons from her life. She has always been incredibly open with me about her marriage to my dad and what went wrong. Though it is hard to hear sometimes, I appreciate her advice and openness. She also always reminded me that although her marriage didn't work out, I have the power to make mine successful. I've heard all the studies saying that children of divorced parents are "at risk" for getting a divorce and all other kinds of challenges. But my mom always reminded us that we had control over our lives and the power to make it what we want. I feel like because of all these lessons from my mother I entered my marriage with realistic expectations and I was already armed with life lessons I had learned from her.



Brett made me brave. Even before he left on his mission I could easily imagine being married to him, growing old with him, and taking on the challenges of life together. And I so looked forward to it. Brett's two year mission strengthened our relationship because we had to support and love one another up from thousands of miles apart. Our relationship survived many trials and challenges that those two years apart brought us. And we are stronger for it.

When Brett got back and we realized quickly that this was it we were both a bit scared. Though we were both thrilled we had found one another, marriage was an intimidating thing for two 21 year olds. But we knew it was all going to work out and that we would begin this amazing adventure together. Though I didn't have a solid example of a marriage "gone right," I did have Brett and our united faith that we were meant to be together and that we could work through anything. As time went by I realized all the amazing examples of marriage I did have, like Brett's parents Cliff and Lynne, and our siblings Eric and Kelly, Brian and Angie, Lars and Kera, Becca and Matt, James and Tiffany, Mike and Katie, and Denise and Jason. We also had so much support from family and friends who had been rooting for us for years.

Where I am weak, Brett is strong, and vice-versa... We work so well together. Brett has taught me that I don't have to do everything on my own. And I've taught him to dance. Marriage has been a fun adventure and it's been so incredible to have my best-friend and love with me day in day out. We strengthen one another and lift each other up. We help one another through the tough times and celebrate the good times.

More than anything, I've loved all the little things of marriage: the shared toothbrush holder, getting tucked in, picking up milk and bread from the grocery store, giving up the last cookie, decorating our Christmas tree, writing little love notes, still Facebook stalking each other when we live in the same home, holding hands in the car, arguing over who's turn it is to turn out the light... etc.



And I hope that we are still that nauseating snugly couple years from now, still being asked if we are newlyweds...

Married life in 4 minutes

This is a clip from Pixar's most recent film Up. If you haven't seen up yet I highly recommend that you do. It is a sweet and beautiful piece of art, an absolute masterpiece about love, life, and adventure.

This clip is about Ellie and Carl, summarizing their life together as man and wife. It's amazing that in 4 minutes, with no dialogue, that the Pixar team was able to portray the ups and downs of a life-long marriage. I laugh and cry every time I watch it.

What a wonderful tribute to love.

Be sure to watch both clips. :)



After Ellie passes away, Carl flies to Paradise Falls by attaching thousands of balloons to his house. After quite the adventure, he finally arrives to the waterfall that he and Ellie always wanted to go to together. Once there, he feels alone and misses Ellie more than ever. He sadly looks at her childhood "Adventure book" saddened that she died before they could have this adventure together. Watch to see what he finds in the book...

Marriage quote that makes me smile

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'."

-from the movie Shall We Dance

These are a few of our favorite things

So we thought we'd just add a little snippet in here as a bit of a glimpse into our daily life as a married couple. Married life is pretty much the greatest thing ever for countless reasons. It's amazing all the new things you get to do as a couple. Apart from the obvious, :) here are a few of our favorite things to do together.

Favorite things:

Boy Meets World: Brett grew up as a die hard Cory and Tapanga fan. I watched a few episodes growing up, but never got way into it. We now own all 7 seasons and watch an episode... or two... sometimes 3... while making dinner or as a homework break.

Reading:
Brett and I were sick last week and spent a lot of nights in. One evening while sipping on some homemade cider I made up, I asked Brett what his Mom did for him when he was sick. He told me that she read to him. So, I got out a book and started reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I read 45 pages that first night... The next night when we brought out the book again I mentioned where we had left off, "The Blue man had just told his story..." Brett's response was... "What BLUE man??" Brett only remembered the first 18 pages. I guess he had fallen asleep. He re-read those 25 pages and then another 50 till we realized it was 3 am and we should probably get some sleep. BTW, I remember all 95 of those pages :) hahaha.

Dollar Movies (or even better: 50 cent movies):
Brett and I have mastered the art of having fun on a budget. It's either a Free Redbox, or a Dollar Movie. I know I know, BIG spenders right? Our favorite time to go is for Monday Night Movies, because the movies are only 50 cents for families. (Okay quick irony. It's called Dollar Movies but the movies cost $1.75.) So we went for 50 cent Monday movie night but I guess that since the Brett and Haley Birkeland family only consists of 2 we were charged 1.75 per ticket, $3.50. We then asked to buy three tickets. The man at the desk replied "$1.50 please." We felt so clever.

Talking... and Talking... and Talking:
We are now enjoying the greatest perk of marriage. No curfew. So what do we do? We stay inside, talk, and stay up much later than we should. Just last night we planned on getting to bed by 11 since I had to wake up at 6:20 for early morning weights. We were in bed on time... but one conversation led to another... and before we knew it, it was 2. The best part is that even though I am a little bit tired the next day, those conversations are a highlight to my life.

Family Time:
So this is more so for me than Brett... but I have especially loved having a family close by again. We often visit Brett's siblings or parents, go on trips to the cabin, watch the big game, or eat Sunday dinner with Brett's parents. Even better is the fact that Brett is my family now and we are together all the time.

"Buying Things":
Another perk of being a newlywed couple is that we have tons of unused gift cards and certificates. We feel like big spenders when we go into Bed, Bath, and Beyond and come out with bags of kitchen goodies and other household items. We are so grateful for the generosity of others and that we have been able to make out little place so homey. :)

Ti Wouj:
A few weeks back after coming out of Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I joked with Brett that we should go check out Petco (knowing that Brett doesn't like pets.) I mentioned we could look at fish and he actually said yes. So we went in and I thought we were going to just look at the fish for a bit and then leave, but leave empty handed we did NOT. Brett looked like a little kid in a candy store. He got a little glimmer in his eye when he asked if we could get one. He had so much fun picking out the fish and the bowl and the kind and color of gravel. We proudly came home with little Ti Wouj (Haitian for Little Red). He can be our number 3 in the Birkeland Family. :)

Reception Photos

Click on this link to see our gorgeous reception photos. :)
http://jarviedigital.smugmug.com/gallery/7315615_EsPSF/1/470599071_MhSZn#470599071_MhSZn

Feels like we are dating all over again...

So Brett and I have been lucky enough to have a lot of the same meets on our schedule this year.

The Good news:
We get to see each other compete and hang out a bit on a weekend when we would normally be apart.

Bad news:
We aren't allowed to stay together.

BYU will provide a room for an athlete and their spouse if the spouse comes along to the meet. The couple has to pay a little extra, but it is well worth it. Brett and I wanted to pursue this option at no cost to my team... but I was shot down. While the BYU coach thinks it would be best for Brett to have a good nights sleep in an environment as consistent as it would be if he were at home, the U unfortunately doesn't agree and finds it "unprofessional."



I guess sleeping with your husband is pretty unprofessional. I mean, staying in the same room with your spouse is tacky and lacks class. I can't imagine what all my teammates would think of me for sleeping with my husband. It's a good thing they don't know we share a room at home or else they'd really think less of me.

So, Brett and I go out and eat together after the competition, congratulate one another on a meet well done, and like the professional athletes we are, he bids me farewell at the door to my room... so we don't do anything a professional wouldn't do.

Temple Photos

Here is a link to our photos from the temple!

http://jarviedigital.smugmug.com/gallery/7037388_eCPsp#450731009_GxfYk

They are all amazing and we had the hardest time picking out some to go here on our blog, but here are a few of our faves. :)

Bridals

http://jarviedigital.smugmug.com/gallery/6809907_RU5Fs#435240978_8nrb2

Here is the link to our bridals! We had the amazing opportunity to work with two very talented photographers, Julie Harman and Scott Jarvie. Two weeks before the big day we all met up at East High School and shot some really creative photos. We also shot some more artsy ones down near Pier Pont. We had an absolute blast and I couldn't imagine better photos or a more beautiful day! Thanks Scott and Julie!

Check them out!